Kiss or Kick
A common question is why does a victim of spousal abuse stay with the perpetrator? There is a payoff for the way we behave. One of the reasons victims stay is attention. Kiss me or kick me!
Either way, it's the need for attention.
Another reason is BTN or better than nothing. In other words, for a lot of women, having any kind of man in their life is better than not having one at all. They are willing to suffer abuse just so they aren't alone.
A third reason, is fear. The woman is afraid for their life if they leave. Abusive men threaten women with death if they try to leave.
All three are generated by issues with low self-esteem.